Just feeling so defeated for the past couple of days … I’ve been unemployed for quite sometime, and breaking back in the work field has been so exhausting and so far reached. This has just been something on my mind a lot recently. Having anxiety or manic depression doesn’t make it that much easier. But I want to work and willingly ready but feel so unqualified for everything. Theres been this huge gap in my life … and i’m trying to shrink it and it seems nearly impossible. Today has just been an up and down day. Especially the feeling of uselessness just overshadowing me. I’m just at a point were I feel ridiculously stuck … and just ready to work again but feel like its such a far fetch idea … I probably wouldnt even hire me lol. Im sure when I least expect it something will come slamming my way. but when??? I’m waiting to begin school in January, but school still doesnt provide an income. I just dont know what to do at this moment … trying to keep positive and keep my spirits high, but even that feels useless.
I just wish I took more initiative early on in my life, and wish I can go back in time and take advantage of the many opportunities that I’ve blown off. Ughh, life has caught up to me fast, and sadly im realizing it more and more everyday.