I sat there, and I was half naked. My sequin dress barely covering my thighs. My breast,  rupturing out of it.  I begin to feel myself betray me. Caution and fear banging against the walls of my head. Banging, and clawing, anxious to get out.  Here I was trying to venture in an area foreign to me. I try  quieting  the voice in my head. “It’ll be okay. How hard can it actually be?” I try to convince myself that the need for money was much greater than the embarrassment of my lack of discernment.

The door in the hotel room was  larger than I noticed before. The vastness, swallowing me. Slowly chewing me up, and vomiting me out.  All I could do was stare at it … and then the knock came. I pause for a second. My body that was stiffly placed on the bed, came out from the cement and slowly crept near the door as if I were in some horror movie ready to yell out ” is anyone there?”

Reality whipped me across the face, slapping me, and awakening my conscientious, my desperation.   My  awareness dissipating my uncouth state of mind. The child in me, retreated back and in a quick second, I struct to the door like a woman.


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