Lights are always out before we are prepared. All the preparation in the world would have never prepared me for this.
I have took so much for granted. And this place is both a blessing and a curse. I miss her. That is the curse. I am humble about missing her and that is the blessing. I have no idea where she may be. I hope that as i’m writing this, shes some place safe in bed or even a cave. But safe, and wanting me as much as I want and need her now.
The guard has passed, twice now. His black boots, march in the mud. Formidable, perverse. He is war. Everything about him is war. And he walks trying to stomp desperately … but the mud catches his foot steps, restricting him.
This is one of my few delights. Your body may not adapt as well as your mind. And the things you find pleasure are the only things that sustain you. I have wrapped my self around my circumstance over a million times. It was hard at first, but when I reached a million I became a new person. indestructible. I am alive, and there is nothing I can do about that now. My will to live, Patrica is all I have now. My life. Patrica. These our mine and this has adjusted me accordingly.